You’ve found a great catch after scrolling through 46 rows of profiles. Now, time to make the first move. Stop with the “winks” and the “likes.” Send a message to show him or her you’ve got the confidence to “approach” and get things started!
Hope this helps!
– This should go without saying, but before anything, make sure YOUR profile is grammatically correct and up to par. You’re displaying your intelligence level, after all. If you need to get a friend to double-check your grammar, do so.
– Usually I’d say don’t ask “yes” or “no” questions. In the case of online dating, you want to make it as easy as possible to get the other person to respond, and if you’re already intimidated to write a message, this is very beginner-friendly.
– Find something you (hopefully) have in common in their profile. Obviously, this is the path of least resistance. You’re much better off if you’ve had the same experience, like/dislike of something, etc., to talk about. For example “Hey, I saw that you were in London a couple years ago. I’ve only been there for work… do you think I should go again without the laptop?” You’re asking for advice, which is always a great way to show you care what he or she thinks.
– Don’t send one generic message to everyone. They took the time to put up pictures and a bio. It’s insulting and frustrating when someone sends a message that could have applied to anyone on the site.
– Add some humor. It’s a little awkward to put yourself out there and be ready to exchange info with strangers, so lighten things up by making him or her laugh. This also makes you more dynamic and interesting.
– According to OkCupid’s latest experiment which looked at keywords and phrases and how they affected reply rates, avoid certain physical compliments. Men especially – don’t use the words “gorgeous” or “beautiful,” and definitely not “sexy!” Women want to feel like you’re paying attention to the whole person, not just the looks.
– To simply get more “opens,” peak their interest. You can use a somewhat ambiguous title to get them to want to know what you’re referring to. This is a trick that actually worked on me when I was online dating. You could send a message such as “How did you do that?” if there is a picture of someone climbing a steep mountain, for example. They don’t know what you’re referring to until they open the message. Or another one could be “Where were you…?” then the message inside would refer to a picture with a background you are asking about.
Try these out next time you want to message someone, and please let me know how it goes!
The WingWoman Blog 