Dating Younger Women – A Response to an AskMen.com Article

         I recently read an AskMen.com article titled “Dating Younger Women: Why It’ll End Badly”(http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_400/443b_dating-younger-women-why-itll-end-badly.html).  It gives a few reasons why dating younger women might be fun at first, as you’re in the “honeymoon period,” but it never pans out in the end. Coming from someone who has dated older men, I agree with some of the points in this article. I am here to respond and add some of the missing facts that aren’t stated in this article. When two people benefit from a relationship it’s a positive thing, and there are many reasons why it can last.

The reasons why dating much younger women include the usual list of basic clichés: the woman is using the man for his money, the man feels younger and captures his sense of adventure with a younger woman, younger women often don’t have kids or mortgages, the man is attracted to the younger woman for her looks.

The fact is every relationship starts off in the “honeymoon stage.”  Whether dating someone much younger, same age, older etc., it’s about being attracted to the person, falling in love, learning about him or her, and doing fun things together.  So doesn’t this compare to an older man dating a much younger woman?  It’s the same thing.  It’s not being shallow to be attracted to someone and go through those first stages of a relationship.  A lot of men (and women) date others because they are attracted to them at first. Chemistry is everything, and a major part of chemistry is attraction. 

The article also talks about the fact that you may have nothing in common with each other if there is such an age gap.  I have found in my experiences, that this difference actually helps deepen the bond with the other person, as I learned about all sorts of things I would never know if I just kept dating a man my own age.  For example; old movies and celebrities that were big when I was too young to appreciate them, places I’ve never been to, or life in general and learning things from an older perspective.  Again, this is just like any relationship that allows you to learn new things from someone who is not like you.

To say “she’s in it for the wrong reasons” isn’t fair. I’m not sure if “using” him for his money is the right word. Every woman wants to feel secure, whether financially, physically (with a strong man), emotionally, etc.  There are lots of different aspects of what attracts a woman to a man. Did you ever think about the fact that the man was “using” the woman for her looks? Maybe she makes HIM feel younger? This sounds familiar. Oh yes! A lot of my older female clients prefer younger men because they compliment them and make them feel young again as well! Again, it’s a two-way street, and if both parties are happy with it, why is that wrong?

There are many relationships where the couple is the same age, and things go awry after they start learning more about the other person when the honeymoon stage is over. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is a liar, maybe you eventually find out he or she is a closet alcoholic, etc. There are also many couples who have a big age difference and they’ve lasted many years together, as they truly appreciate one another.  While there are exceptions to every rule, if you make a good fit in the beginning, who’s to say it won’t last in the end?