Are You Dateable?

Are you finding that no one’s responding to your messages you send on Match? Have you been single for a while, after dating for what seems like forever? Are you only getting first and second dates, and people seem to disappear after that? Before you do anything else, check the following attributes to see if these apply to you.

• Do you exude confidence? It’s just how it goes – people want to be with confident people, because they’ve got something that says “I’m worthy of your attention (and possibly love) because I know it, so you should know it too.” If you’re not happy with yourself or you don’t believe in yourself, it’s going to be hard to convince others they want to be with you. If you aren’t confident, fake it ‘til you make it: Look into people’s eyes directly. Stand tall and don’t sulk. Give yourself 3 compliments in the mirror before you go on a date, and so forth. There are tons of articles out there on how to give yourself a confidence boost.

• You should be passionate about something, or have some sort of hobby or interest. This makes people interested in you because you’ve got something going on other than work and going out with friends. Not to mention, it shows you care about something and are committed to it. (See the parallel to being in a relationship?) You can also teach your date more about what you’re into, which is super attractive. Click here to see a study of millions of communications between eHarmony UK members that explains what hobbies make you attractive to the opposite sex.. Just an FYI, “exercise” scores in the top two most attractive interests for both sexes.

• How do you look? To be blunt, looks matter, BUT the good news is you don’t have to look like a supermodel or a total hunk. What you should do is try to look the best version of yourself. Not sure your look is on point? Don’t be afraid to talk to an image consultant. It’s an investment that’s worth every penny. Ladies, ask a makeup artist to teach you how to apply makeup that flatters you perfectly. If you aren’t exercising, you should be. We all know it’s healthier mentally and physically. Not to mention, countless studies show you are being judged by this in your professional and personal life. When we go out, the first thing others see is what we look like on the outside. Don’t just give up and let yourself go because you haven’t found the one yet.

• Are you happy with your job? You don’t have to be wealthy, but if you have a steady job, are a good career track (have goals), and like what you do, then you are date-worthy in the career category. Those who are constantly complaining about work are often thrown into the mix of people who complain about life in general. You want to show that you have control over what you do in your life, both personally and professionally. Liking what you do, being financially responsible, that’s attractive.

• Are you desperate to meet someone? Well if you are, start hiding it. This is especially a turn-off for men. Ladies, try to take things casually, even though you want to know if this is “the one.” Acting desperate and general neediness will get you nowhere fast. Men like a challenge, and you are doing the opposite of challenging them if you put all your eggs in one basket. Show the person you’re dating that you channel your energy into other people and activities as well. This is where hobbies, friends, and other potential mates come into play. Don’t have any of those at the time? If he or she asks you on a date, you can always say you’re busy, but be sure to ask about a rain check.

• Are you all healed from past relationships? Did you have a horrible breakup with your ex? Make sure you’re completely over it and don’t bring baggage or drama into the new one. “Dateable” people are ready emotionally.

• Or maybe you’re just too picky. Are your friends getting frustrated with how quickly you dismiss anyone who tries to talk to you (or even those you’ve started dating) for any reason? Forget your must-haves and dis-qualifiers regarding your potential partner. Nowadays, people have a laundry list of what they’re looking for and it’s only hurting them in the long run. Think about it; are you a perfect 10? It’s so cliché to say no one’s perfect, but it’s so true.

Remember, it’s ok to work on improving yourself in all facets of your life, and finding love is too important to put on the back burner. Contact us if you need any more help!