The key to speaking to women at bars and social events is grabbing their attention and keeping them engaged, but not creeping them out along the way. We don’t believe in pick-up lines because we think it’s less about what you say than how you say it, but there are definitely a handful of openers to stay away from.
1. Do you come here often?
Not only is this line completely overused and dangerously cliché, it also sounds creepy! As soon as these words leave your mouth there is no doubt that you’re hitting on someone (AND doing a bad bad job). This line is overused because it’s easy to say to someone you don’t know, but try to be more creative when starting conversations and tailor it to the situation. Make a comment about someone nearby, make a joke, ask what drinks they make well at the bar, etc. You want to stand out, and you won’t do so with this line.
2. You look familiar, have I met you?
Talk about a line that screams stalker! When does this line work? When you’ve actually met her or you have a friend in common. When does this line fail? In every other situation! Once again, creativity is key, and this line is not it.
3. Can I buy you a drink?
Once again there’s no mystery here. You’re getting to the point really quickly and she’s either going to say no and walk away, or she’s going to say yes, take a free drink, and then walk away because you have no rapport with her yet. It’s perfectly reasonable to offer to buy her a drink when you’ve been talking for a while and see her drink is empty, but don’t start out this way.
4. What are good places to go around here?
Okay, this one can work depending on where you are versus where you live. Let me give you an example. I used to work with a client all the time who loved this line. The only problem is he would ask women about good places to go around the area when we were out in his neighborhood. When it inevitably came up that he had been living in the financial district for four years, but he had just asked where to go out when we were already in the financial district it came across poorly to women. It made him look like he either didn’t enjoy going out or never had any time to go out, two things you don’t want to come across to someone you meet when you’re out.
5. Hey. So I was hanging out with Tom Brady this summer…
Basically showboating. Whether it be about your friends, your job or your lifestyle. This line comes across as incredibly vain and superficial and this is exactly the type of woman that you’re going to attract. People can see through this line, and even if you try to drop it in conversation it is rarely effective at getting you the type of attention you want.
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