For the last few months our clients have been taking advantage of our Date Coaching services. Date Coaching has been great for clients who are very uncomfortable approaching women and need a little bit of extra help before they jump right into a social event or bar. While we tailor our sessions towards each individual client, all sessions feature some combination of a brainstorm of conversation topics tailored to our clients, strategy sessions for the best opportunities to start conversations, and extensive role playing to help each client put what he or she has learned to practice in the safe space of our session!
Through our coaching sessions we have noticed a few very common misconceptions that we wanted to help dispel.
1. Confidence speaks louder than words – We cannot stress enough that it is not what you say but it is how you say it. If you make strong eye contact and smile while you start a conversation, people are more likely to respond positively to you.
2. Practice makes perfect – Of course it can be intimidating to talk to someone you don’t know, especially if you’re attracted to them! Most people get at least of twinge of anxiety when they talk to someone they’re attracted to, that’s where chemistry comes from! BUT the more you do it the better you get at it and the more comfortable you feel doing it. Our job is to help you turn the overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety into that little butterfly in your stomach that lets you know that chemistry exists. If you’re very nervous starting conversations with people you find attractive, practice starting more conversations in general with ANYONE. Talk to the bus driver, talk to the checkout person, ask for directions even if you don’t need them – the point is to practice practice practice talking to people that you don’t know.
3. Nothing bad will happen – What’s the worst that’s going to happen if you begin a conversation with someone that doesn’t want to talk to you? Maybe they’ll walk away or maybe they’ll say “please don’t talk to me” or “I’m not interested.” Would the world end if that happens? No, it wouldn’t. It’s important to convince yourself that nothing bad will happen if things don’t work out your way when approaching someone you’re attracted to. If it doesn’t work out just get up and try again with someone else. Besides, the more you do it the less nervous you’ll be anyway!
So, ladies and gentlemen, give this advice a try and see what happens! I can promise you that things will only get easier the more practice you get. And remember, if you feel like you can’t do it alone we are always here to schedule a session with and help you role play your way towards that girl or guy across the bar that you’re interested in!
~ Sabrina
The WingWoman Blog 