Did you go out this past weekend and come home without any numbers? Maybe you met a couple of potential dates, but didn’t seem to get their number saved into your phone, or at least ask for a business card? If you’re in the market to meet someone and you don’t capitalize on a good, social environment that’s perfect for meeting people, you’re not going to be getting any dates. Here are some reasons why you could be hurting your chances at getting those digits when you’re out on the town.
1) You were trying too hard. I know this sounds counter-productive, but it’s a major turnoff when you’re seen leaning against the wall, just scoping out the scene and not having fun in the process. The last thing people are attracted to is someone who seems desperate to get a number by the end of the night. You tend to look creepy when you’re with your friend and neither one of you are talking, but just staring at the “options.” Also, when you do meet someone, don’t ask for his/her number right away either. Make sure the conversation is flowing and you have something to talk about when you do end up getting those digits.
2) You’re not trying at all. Women do this more frequently than men. You go out with your girlfriends, and get “caught up in catching up.” After a drink or two, it’s like you’re the only ones in the room, forgetting about other potential guys who are perfectly ready and wanting to meet you. You also look more intimidating to men when you’re in a deep conversation with your friend(s). How can they jump in and start talking to you? This is extremely hard, as you’re making an invisible conversation barrier. Try to find a mix between catching up with your girlfriends, and also looking around once in a while. Keep the conversation light, and ask the guy next to you for his opinion. Remember, you’re out to be social and meet other people.
3) You went up to her while she was in the middle of a deep conversation with her friend. This one is awful. Whatever you say is not going to mean anything, because you interrupted her at the worst time, and she didn’t appreciate it. It will be an impossible uphill battle to get out of this one because at that time there was no intention, in fact attention was unwanted, while they are bonding over something important. The only way to avoid this is by understanding body language. Try to see if there are looking that much more intense, talking closer, and being more serious. If you’re really into the person, you can try to wait it out until it becomes a little easier to approach, or move on.
4) You’re dressing for other girls, not guys. Ladies – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, guys don’t care who designed your handbag or that you’re wearing the latest puffy skirt. Guys want to see what you’re working with. Sorry, but it’s true. They’re visual beings. So please remember to wear what flatters you best, and what gives you the most confidence, and don’t worry about the trends. Pay attention to what other girls are wearing only if they’re attracting the guys you’re into. Are they wearing flats or high heels? Puffy skirts and baggy tops? Or form-fitting skirts and fun, flirty tops… Just trying to help with what will get the results!
5) Your head was in your cell phone. If your head is in your cell phone, you’re not going to be approachable. In fact, you will be the opposite. You look like you’re waiting for your significant other to come meet you (aka repelling the opposite sex). If you’re alone at a bar/lounge and you feel like you need to be preoccupied because you’re not comfortable being by yourself, bring a magazine. With a magazine, you can put it down on the bar and leave it open while you flip the pages. You’re even inviting conversation because other people can see the pictures and it is easy to comment and start a conversation. If you need to check your cell, fine, but please, please, do not be texting and looking at your phone the whole time!
6) You’re too cool for school. Our clients tend to meet more people at less “uppity,” or “snobby” lounges. People feel they’re intimidating and non-welcoming. If you came into the place with an attitude of being better than the next person, don’t expect to be approached. Being approachable makes it that much easier for people to go up to you and strike a conversation. Isn’t that why you went out in the first place.. to be social and meet people?
7) You didn’t seal the deal; meaning – even after hitting it off and having a great conversation, you didn’t ask for the phone number. This is the second most popular reason why men, especially, hire the WingWomen. It’s hard enough to strike up a conversation with someone you’re attracted to, but then you have to get the guts to ask for their contact info. We’ve had some clients ask the WingWoman to put in a good word for them while they “step away” or “go to the bathroom.” The WingWoman may suggest to the prospective partner that she meet up with the client another time because he’s a great catch. The simplest advice I can give you is to relay back to something you talked about; something you had in common. Did you talk about the fact that you both love outdoor concerts? Enjoy green tea in the afternoon? Go to the North End for pastry? Well, bring it up again, and suggest that you should do it together some day! Don’t make the huge mistake of going home without getting the digits of someone you really connected with.
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