This may seem shallow, but it’s for everyone’s benefit.
When I was single, I used to joke with my friends that dating was a part-time job. If you don’t put a ton of effort into it, you won’t get anything out of it. Knowing this, I found that being organized helped a lot. On my phone I’d have guys’ names from Match.com or those I had met in person, and I’d put something that reminded me of them next to their names.
For example, my contacts list would look like this:
Tom – North End
Justin – tall, funny
Mike – gym rat
Mike C – talker, cute
You get the point.
Sorry, but my memory isn’t that great and I needed something to remember who was calling or texting me at the time. After talking to a few other singles, I found out that I wasn’t the only one who was doing that. I’ve also heard of men and women making spreadsheets or just plain old lists to keep track.
After a while, like anyone out there trying to meet someone for a real relationship, I got tired and frustrated. I was sick of wasting time getting all dolled up, spending money on taxis, and wasting good makeup going to dinner or having drinks with someone I wasn’t really into in the end. I would look back after ending the date or the fling and think “there has to be an easier way to do this.”
Here’s what I did. And it works for guys too! Instead of putting all my time and energy into one date per night, I thought why not go on two… or if I wanted to be really advanced… three.
What am I talking about? Was I being a player? No. I just know that I can tell if I’m going to like someone within the first half hour or so of meeting him. Therefore, I’d go on “mini-dates” and explain to these men that I was “meeting up with friends after” and could only stay for one drink with them. I would of course let my date know this beforehand. No one seemed to have a problem with that. In fact, I think my dates respected the efficiency of it all! After all, they don’t want to be stuck with me if they weren’t into me either. After leaving that date, I’d hop on over to the next. By doing this I saved time, let myself go of any weirdness or awkwardness on a dinner-date that has gone awry, and didn’t have do get dolled up, hair done, makeup on, stress about an outfit, every single time I went out to meet someone. I just scheduled 2 or 3 dates in a row on the same night.
What’s the best part of it all? I left them wanting more. Yes, leave your date wanting to see you again, and you will have the upper hand. Also, if you have places to go to and people to see, you appear to be an in-demand, social, outgoing person. After meeting like this, my dates were motivated to fit into my schedule! Don’t get me wrong, this may work better for women, as men like the chase. You also can’t come across as though something else is more important than your date. As long as you’re up front about it BEFORE you meet, it is perfectly acceptable. If there is a second date, that date should be completely different of course, and you should devote more time to getting to know the person.
Go ahead and try this technique next time you’re talking to a couple of people online and they’re interested in meeting you. I promise it will be an amazing tool to get you through this crazy world of dating!
The WingWoman Blog 