8 Realistic Places to Meet Women

Our male clients are always asking me where the women are! I’ve come up with a list of places where our research shows are pretty reliable in helping you get those digits.

 

1. Wine Tastings.  We love wine and it puts us in a welcoming, fun mood! Hello!
2. Fashion shows (not the weekly kind). We love fashion and we love talking about the models. Guys catch on to this quickly though, and they think they’re going to be the only guys there surrounded by women, but there are more and more guys at these continuous shows now. Pick a random fashion show that isn’t a regularly scheduled one. Try a pop-up event or a fundraiser. Also, don’t stare with your jaw dropped at the models. That’s a huge turnoff.
3. Sports bars during a big game. Why? Because generally, it’s our consensus that women aren’t watching it as closely as the guys. A lot of women go to sports bars to meet men, but most guys don’t want to talk, they want to watch. Women even get frustrated in the lack of attention from guys during sports games. This is your chance to swoop in and start talking while you have their attention and the other guys have no clue!
4. “Girlie,” pretty bars. We pay attention to detail. When we are surrounded by velour sofas, stylish walls, beautiful red chandeliers, and fun drinks, we love it, therefore we go back! Not to mention, we love our pretty cocktails, and usually cocktail bars are right up our alley.
5. Outdoor patio bars on nice days. We want to show off our new summer dresses and different makeup, hairstyles, etc., while drinking margaritas out on the patio! What better way to talk to girls than when everyone’s outside in the beautiful weather and in a great mood also!
6. Charity events/fundraisers.  Depending on the event, there are usually more girls than guys. For example, we’ve found that causes such as those for animal cruelty and adoption, breast cancer, and child welfare are heavily attended by women. This brings up a nice topic of conversation that you ALREADY HAVE IN COMMON.. what you’re doing there! You are killing two birds with one stone here – giving to a good cause and meeting women. Girls love a great guy with a good heart!
7. Museum after-hours events.  Another place where women love the surroundings and cocktails, and it’s super easy to just talk about the piece of artwork that is right in front of you.
8. Coffee shops.  I know this one is kind of corny, but people who go to coffee shops with their laptops or things to work on realize that it’s a social environment, and that’s why they’re going. Otherwise, why not go to the library or stay at home to study?  Go up to her or sit next to her and after settling in, and say “Hey, what are you working on/reading/etc.?” Believe me, she will be more than happy to answer!

There are many other places to meet women, as I’m sure you know. I’m even writing my entire following blog on how one can meet people at a grocery store. If any of the above still seems intimidating to conquer on your own, you know where to find us for help!

A WingWoman’s Observation

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share something that we’ve been noticing over the years. As professional WingWomen, we work with clients who sometimes need us to push them out of their comfort zones. We are a neutral voice who will give them honest feedback. (Feedback that sometimes friends or family aren’t able to give). They can take the advice and do with it whatever they like though.

One scenario we frequently come across is when clients go for the same “type” of person time and time again. After dating or being in relationships with people who are the same type over and over again, you’re not doing yourself any good by going out and looking for that same look/personality/behavior with which you’re comfortable. We have had clients who only want us to help them meet Latin women, tall men, men with an accent (true story), only blondes, etc. The problem with this is that you’re closing yourself off to someone who could potentially be a perfect match for you, and you wouldn’t know it. Think of all the missed opportunities!

Robert Gary Lee said “Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” The pain in this circumstance would be the breakups with the same type of people you’re into. One of the hardest things to do is self-reflect. Not only that, but realizing that what you’ve been doing isn’t working and needs to be some tweaking. When we’re out with clients, we try to make them “cast a wider net” and give other people a chance. Set a goal to meet at least one person who you wouldn’t normally approach. Have a good attitude about it. What’s the worst that can happen? It doesn’t work out, right? However, you can be proud that you stepped out your comfort zone and hopefully that will lead you to take even more chances with people who aren’t your “type.”

New York City – Online Dating Capital of the World?

I recently heard that New York City is the “capital of online dating.” This really surprised me. New York City? It’s the “city that never sleeps!” You’d think that with a multitude of resources, things to do, places to go to, and amazing energy, a place like this would accommodate anyone wanting to meet someone. Not to mention there are so many people living in a compacted area, it’s almost impossible not to be forced to talk to someone new. We’re talking about the biggest city in the U.S., with so many different types of people and their diverse backgrounds. A single’s dating dream, right? Unfortunately, the opposite effect may have occurred.

On the other hand, one would think that a more rural area with not too many places to meet people and go out and socialize would capitalize more on the internet. You can meet people right on your computer screen instead of traveling far to get to a bar or lounge. Also, there are less people in suburban or rural areas, so it would be a no-brainer to find more of a “selection” online and right at your fingertips!

Here are a couple of reasons why NYC could be the capital of online dating:

1) Just going out to try meeting someone in this city can be pricey. There are drinks, cab rides, ticket prices, etc. Online dating cuts your expenses dramatically. You can stay in the comfort of your home and break the ice with someone, flirt, and make plans to meet all while wearing your comfy clothes and sipping coffee on the couch.

2) Because there are so many people, it actually works against you because it is so intimidating, especially to someone new to the city. NYC can be a huge, overwhelming place to someone who doesn’t really have any friends. Maybe he or she is here because of a job transfer or for school. Instead of being “thrown to the sharks” with everyone who already has their circle of friends, it’s much easier to make an online profile and explain “I’m new in town.”

There is still hope for meeting someone in person in The Big Apple though. Online dating should be used as an extra tool on the side. There is nothing wrong with using many resources in the 2014 dating world! You can always join a Meetup Group of your choice. These are great because people are LOOKING to meet someone like them, and you know that when going to the group outing, you already have something in common! Another thing I’m going to recommend (of course) is hiring a WingWoman, who will make it extremely easy to meet people while you’re out with her. After all, she is there to take the stress out of approaching people for you.

Hopefully these city-goers aren’t using online dating as the only way to meet people. To each his or her own, but there is nothing like that feeling you get when you’re out and you meet someone who gives you butterflies at the first “hello.”

A Few Minutes, a Few Questions with our New Image Consultant Margarita!

What’s hot right now? Any tips?  Denim conquered world’s podiums this summer again and is in demand in any variation – as in accessories and in evening dresses. The play of written words embroidered or printed across ready-to-wear, crop tops are easily being the most ubiquitous trend to translate from the runways to the streets and back again.

I’d say couple of words about shoes:  Designers in this season offer an excellent alternative to boring ballerinas, sandals and flat shoes: the block heel shoes. This summer is all about the sport sandal, albeit in bright colors or covered in gems.

You’ve also been a WingWoman for a while now. What are some fashion mistakes men make when they are out meeting women?  A common mistake is believing that tight clothes will suck everything in or wearing clothes that are too small. The deep “V” is also a mistake. No one wants to see the gaping expanse of your newly waxed chest. Unless you’re under 13 years of age….and even then – do not show off a designer labeled t-shirt! The most heinous of all style crimes is having frayed jeans. Invest in properly tailored pieces that will make the best of your assets.

What do you suggest women wear for makeup for a fresh look?  Any pastel color eye shadows are at the peak of fashion right now: sky blue, light pink, smoky, violet – the selection is really wide. Bust out your black liquid liner, because perennially chic cat-eyes are especially big for end of Summer/Fall. TIt seemed like orange is the lipstick shade of the season, especially going into end of Summer, with no shortage of designers opting for various hues in this color family.

Click Here to Hire Margarita and get Personalized Advice from her!

7 Reasons Why You Didn’t get any Digits This Weekend

Did you go out this past weekend and come home without any numbers? Maybe you met a couple of potential dates, but didn’t seem to get their number saved into your phone, or at least ask for a business card? If you’re in the market to meet someone and you don’t capitalize on a good, social environment that’s perfect for meeting people, you’re not going to be getting any dates. Here are some reasons why you could be hurting your chances at getting those digits when you’re out on the town.

1) You were trying too hard. I know this sounds counter-productive, but it’s a major turnoff when you’re seen leaning against the wall, just scoping out the scene and not having fun in the process. The last thing people are attracted to is someone who seems desperate to get a number by the end of the night. You tend to look creepy when you’re with your friend and neither one of you are talking, but just staring at the “options.” Also, when you do meet someone, don’t ask for his/her number right away either. Make sure the conversation is flowing and you have something to talk about when you do end up getting those digits.

2) You’re not trying at all. Women do this more frequently than men. You go out with your girlfriends, and get “caught up in catching up.” After a drink or two, it’s like you’re the only ones in the room, forgetting about other potential guys who are perfectly ready and wanting to meet you. You also look more intimidating to men when you’re in a deep conversation with your friend(s). How can they jump in and start talking to you? This is extremely hard, as you’re making an invisible conversation barrier. Try to find a mix between catching up with your girlfriends, and also looking around once in a while. Keep the conversation light, and ask the guy next to you for his opinion. Remember, you’re out to be social and meet other people.

3) You went up to her while she was in the middle of a deep conversation with her friend. This one is awful. Whatever you say is not going to mean anything, because you interrupted her at the worst time, and she didn’t appreciate it. It will be an impossible uphill battle to get out of this one because at that time there was no intention, in fact attention was unwanted, while they are bonding over something important. The only way to avoid this is by understanding body language. Try to see if there are looking that much more intense, talking closer, and being more serious. If you’re really into the person, you can try to wait it out until it becomes a little easier to approach, or move on.

4) You’re dressing for other girls, not guys. Ladies – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, guys don’t care who designed your handbag or that you’re wearing the latest puffy skirt. Guys want to see what you’re working with. Sorry, but it’s true. They’re visual beings. So please remember to wear what flatters you best, and what gives you the most confidence, and don’t worry about the trends. Pay attention to what other girls are wearing only if they’re attracting the guys you’re into. Are they wearing flats or high heels? Puffy skirts and baggy tops? Or form-fitting skirts and fun, flirty tops… Just trying to help with what will get the results!

5) Your head was in your cell phone. If your head is in your cell phone, you’re not going to be approachable. In fact, you will be the opposite. You look like you’re waiting for your significant other to come meet you (aka repelling the opposite sex). If you’re alone at a bar/lounge and you feel like you need to be preoccupied because you’re not comfortable being by yourself, bring a magazine. With a magazine, you can put it down on the bar and leave it open while you flip the pages. You’re even inviting conversation because other people can see the pictures and it is easy to comment and start a conversation. If you need to check your cell, fine, but please, please, do not be texting and looking at your phone the whole time!

6) You’re too cool for school. Our clients tend to meet more people at less “uppity,” or “snobby” lounges. People feel they’re intimidating and non-welcoming. If you came into the place with an attitude of being better than the next person, don’t expect to be approached. Being approachable makes it that much easier for people to go up to you and strike a conversation. Isn’t that why you went out in the first place.. to be social and meet people?

7) You didn’t seal the deal; meaning – even after hitting it off and having a great conversation, you didn’t ask for the phone number. This is the second most popular reason why men, especially, hire the WingWomen. It’s hard enough to strike up a conversation with someone you’re attracted to, but then you have to get the guts to ask for their contact info. We’ve had some clients ask the WingWoman to put in a good word for them while they “step away” or “go to the bathroom.” The WingWoman may suggest to the prospective partner that she meet up with the client another time because he’s a great catch. The simplest advice I can give you is to relay back to something you talked about; something you had in common. Did you talk about the fact that you both love outdoor concerts? Enjoy green tea in the afternoon? Go to the North End for pastry? Well, bring it up again, and suggest that you should do it together some day! Don’t make the huge mistake of going home without getting the digits of someone you really connected with.

We Asked, Image Consultant Shannon Answered

What are some good outfits/clothing articles for men and women to wear on a first date?

A good article of clothing to wear on a first date is something that tells a story about you… Maybe a scarf, a wristwatch, a pendant… that has a special meaning for you. Maybe you picked it up when on a fun trip, or got it from a dear friend or family member. These items can be great conversation starters.

 

What‘s hot right now? Any tips?

You want to make a great first impression on a first date… but it’s not advisable to show up looking too trendy, and risk looking like you are materialistic (unless that is what you are trying to attract in a partner 😉 What’s always “hot” is to dress in a sophisticated, classic style. (and remember to wear comfortable shoes! You do not want to be hobbling around in pain 😉

What is the best thing for women to wear to make her feel good about herself?

It is important for women to dress in a manner that reflects their intentions. So unless you’re looking for a quick hook up… you want to look attractive, but not too sexy on the first date. (So save your strapless dress and 4 inch heels for later down the road). Wear something that will make you feel feminine, yet comfortable.)

 

What should men pay attention to when dressing for going out on the town?

Foremost, be true to yourself, and your own style. But if you are unsure, just stick to the basics– a pair of slacks. A button down shirt, with a fitted V-neck T-shirt (that is not too tight 😉 underneath. Oh, and a great pair of comfortable shoes! (Word of caution: Boston has many places that have a dress code, and do not allow sneakers or jeans — so be prepared.)

Get results. We’re offering 20% off all Male and Female Image Consulting Sessions!

How’s That Workin’ Out for You?

This is for those who stick to the same routine and expect love to fall into their laps…

Ok, ok – I know you are sick of New Year’s motivational lingo, but this is a perfect time for me to stress something that I tell both clients and friends.  Basically, if what you’re doing right now isn’t working, you have the opportunity to start fresh and make a change for something to happen in 2014. If you really think about it, finding someone special is within your reach, but it won’t happen easily. Sure, sometimes it’s luck for those very few people, but for the rest of us, it takes time and understanding the concept of what your potential mate wants. That’s right, if you see what attracts the person who you are attracted to, then you can use that to your advantage. Use these tools to better yourself and make yourself “more dateable” to your target audience.   

Be observant. Years ago, when I was dating, I spent a lot of time checking out what other women were wearing (the girls who were getting all the attention from guys I was attracted to). They were wearing heels, I wasn’t. They were wearing clothes that flatter their figure, while I was wearing clothes that were trendy and stylish, but may not have necessarily been anything a guy was interested in. I was dressing for my friends, since they cared more about style. I was also interested in certain expensive handbags. However, I came to find out that a simple, small clutch from a thrift store was just as perfect and complimented my flirty, flattering outfit! The women that guys were approaching at bars were smiling and outgoing, and not intimidating. The right flattering look and outgoing attitude is everything.

The men and women you’re attracted to – who are THEY attracted to? Who is your “competition?” Check it out for yourself. Google images of women and men  at nice bars or lounges and what they’re wearing and if they seem like they’re having fun or if they’re just standing around with their drink, waiting for someone to come up to them. (Not attractive). Or next time you’re out, see who is getting the most attention. This is what clients ask me to help them with, whether it is for their online profile or just to go to an event. Observe! This will help you get your end goal!

Heal yourself. Of course, you also have to be happy with yourself first! You’ve heard it a million times, but you have to be happy with your looks and your inner beauty. People can smell someone who is not confident, and it’s not attractive. Research has linked almost any type of exercise to greater body confidence. Would you be attracted to a guy or girl who is not healthy or keeping up appearances?

You may be a happy person, but out of shape, or you may be perfectly in shape, but not happy on the inside because of an unresolved issue. Don’t allow yourself to be hurt by someone who will treat you badly because you are treating yourself badly. You know what to do; get help/get a hobby/get a workout buddy if you need it. I can’t stress enough how much it is projected to others when you’re happy with you. Then, after you are confident and radiant from inside and out, you will be ready to bring someone who is also healthy, into your life.

If you’re consistently not meeting people, then something has to change. Try the above-mentioned tips before complaining about never getting approached or not finding love. They call for a good amount of effort, but like anything that you want in life, it will be worth it in the end!

Men – What to Wear this Holiday Season

In addition to our WingWoman services we also offer fashion consulting to our clients. There are so many blogs out there about what women should be wearing this holiday season, so we wanted to put together a must-have for men this holiday season to get them noticed!

How you present yourself to others is very important and, whether you like it or not, clothes are a big part of that. If you’re interested in a woman who looks well put-together and polished then guess what? She’s looking for the same thing in a man! So get out onto the town looking your best in a winter outfit that will make her want to cuddle up with you by the fire.

Below are our picks for the holidays without breaking the bank!

 

From Left to Right, Top to Bottom:

Wool-Cashmere Waffle Sweater, J-Crew; Wool Pea Coat, Banana Republic; Theory Jeans, Bloomingdales; Men’s Ankle Boot, Zara; Club Room Scarf, Macy’s.

Like our ideas but need more help? Or maybe the above options don’t match your personal style?  Hire one of our fashion consultants to help you pick out the perfect pieces for winter that match your style and budget!

5 Lines NEVER to Say to a Woman

The key to speaking to women at bars and social events is grabbing their attention and keeping them engaged, but not creeping them out along the way. We don’t believe in pick-up lines because we think it’s less about what you say than how you say it, but there are definitely a handful of openers to stay away from.

                                                       

1.   Do you come here often?

Not only is this line completely overused and dangerously cliché, it also sounds creepy! As soon as these words leave your mouth there is no doubt that you’re hitting on someone (AND doing a bad bad job). This line is overused because it’s easy to say to someone you don’t know, but try to be more creative when starting conversations and tailor it to the situation. Make a comment about someone nearby, make a joke, ask what drinks they make well at the bar, etc. You want to stand out, and you won’t do so with this line.

2.   You look familiar, have I met you?

Talk about a line that screams stalker! When does this line work? When you’ve actually met her or you have a friend in common. When does this line fail? In every other situation! Once again, creativity is key, and this line is not it.

3.   Can I buy you a drink?

Once again there’s no mystery here. You’re getting to the point really quickly and she’s either going to say no and walk away, or she’s going to say yes, take a free drink, and then walk away because you have no rapport with her yet. It’s perfectly reasonable to offer to buy her a drink when you’ve been talking for a while and see her drink is empty, but don’t start out this way.

4.   What are good places to go around here?

Okay, this one can work depending on where you are versus where you live. Let me give you an example. I used to work with a client all the time who loved this line. The only problem is he would ask women about good places to go around the area when we were out in his neighborhood. When it inevitably came up that he had been living in the financial district for four years, but he had just asked where to go out when we were already in the financial district it came across poorly to women. It made him look like he either didn’t enjoy going out or never had any time to go out, two things you don’t want to come across to someone you meet when you’re out.

5.   Hey. So I was hanging out with Tom Brady this summer…

Basically showboating. Whether it be about your friends, your job or your lifestyle. This line comes across as incredibly vain and superficial and this is exactly the type of woman that you’re going to attract. People can see through this line, and even if you try to drop it in conversation it is rarely effective at getting you the type of attention you want.

3 Reasons why you Should use a Halloween Party as a way to Meet People

It’s that time of year. Invitations are rolling in. You are stressing about what to wear for all these Halloween parties. You’re also wondering if you should even go. Well, are you single and looking to meet someone? Then check out the following reasons why this is the PERFECT scenario for you.

 

1)  Now is the chance to come out of your “shell.” This is a shy person’s dream!  You can hide behind that costume and get “in character” if you are uncomfortable being yourself when you first meet someone. Small talk and just getting into a conversation is the key here! It’s great for meeting a potential partner or even networking. You don’t even have to think about an opening line.. that’s what the costumes and surrounding decorations are for!

2)  You’re not just at a bar talking to your friend and checking people out. This environment encourages people to move around and mingle.  It’s also a judgment-free zone, unlike a trendy bar or lounge. You aren’t going to be judged on your looks and what you’re wearing. Instead you will be applauded by your creativity and imagination! So be yourself and don’t worry about looking your best, just look like your character 😉

3)  Practice, practice, practice! There’s no doubt that you will be repeating the question “What are you?” Or answering the question “who are you supposed to be.” This is great practice for talking to strangers in a relaxed, fun environment. Repetition is the key to being more confident when talking to strangers, and this is a great environment to keep going up to people and complimenting them on their choice of costume and asking how they came up with the idea, etc. Take this confidence and roll with it.