What Do I Do if the Person I’m Dating Starts Pulling Away?

So frustrating, yet so common… You think you’re on a roll with this person and feelings start to develop.. then BAM! They (using “they” to make this simpler than “he or she”) start to text less or become less available. I won’t get into the reasons why people do this, but I will tell you what YOU can do about it.

• Mirror them – If they’re going to start becoming unavailable, then so should you. Do what they’re doing. They’re texting less? So should you. They’re busy on those nights that you’d usually spend together at your favorite local wine bar? You’re busy too.

• Get a hobby – The key is to keep busy, BUT you want to start a hobby or new activity as well. Not only does this show the person you have other things going on, but it’s attractive when someone is passionate about something, AND it will help keep your mind off that person as well.

• Do not communicate more! Don’t be a nag and tell yourself they didn’t get your last text. Being needy will only make you look bad. I’m going with that super cliché saying but, if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back, believe me. Otherwise you don’t want someone who doesn’t really want you anyway. That’s just torturous.

Never put all your eggs in one basket. Talk to more than one person at once until you’ve had the “commitment talk,” Otherwise you could be wasting precious time and are more susceptible to getting hurt. Keep busy and have other things going on in your life. You’re a hot commodity after all!

Why Singles are Choosing Certain Events over the Bar Scene

We usually get pretty booked when a popular event is around the corner. Savvy clients know there are some major advantages to keeping an eye out on what’s happening in the social scene. I’ll get right to it. Here’s why you may want to consider going to an event rather than a bar or lounge:

• It’s less awkward than standing around in a bar. Usually events offer some type of activity or something in which you can participate. Even if it’s wine-wasting, you’re all in the same boat doing something, and it’s easier to meet people that way instead of just scoping out the scene at a bar. Having a good attitude and looking like you’re enjoying the activity is so much hotter too.

• Let’s face it – you can kill two birds with one stone when you go to a fundraiser or charity event. You can feel good about going, and you meet like-minded people. People there care about the cause, and being passionate about something is attractive. With fundraisers, you already have an easy subject to talk about since you have something in common! Head’s up – these tend to be a pricier than other events.

• You know there will be a lot of people there. The bar scene can be hit or miss. A lot of our clients do the “once around” to see if there’s anyone attractive, and if not, they just head out to the next bar. This is a total time-waster. When you go to an event, especially a ticketed one, people who already paid will have an obligation to go because they already put money into it. Also, you can see who’s going, and judge how many people are going, if the event is shared on Facebook.

It’s worth your time and effort to see if anything is coming up in your area. Event suggestions also come with your WingWoman order, so don’t stress if you’re not “in the know.” Contact us to try it out!

Simple Steps to Get the Confidence You Need to Approach Someone -From the People Who do it For a Living

I recently met a male client who hired a WingWoman to help him approach and talk to women. He is a New York City police officer, so one would assume he has no trouble going up to just anyone. He met with Tiffany, a WingWoman who works with clients in New York. He met and got the phone number of one woman. He did the right thing by following up right away with a text, but she didn’t respond. What happened? It was the same problem he said he usually has; he felt as though he got socially awkward and didn’t have any confidence with her. He explained Tiffany did a lot of the work and he just went through the motions of getting the phone number. The WingWomen are a great resource in helping people with what to say, body language, and doing a great “setup” for you (we can break the ice with the most intimidating of them!) However, it takes practice and, yes training, to get from A-Z. (Z being extremely comfortable and confident in talking to the opposite sex). Here I offer some homework for anyone out there to who has trouble and clams up when trying to talk to someone you’d like to meet.

This first step is something you’ve probably heard before. Make small talk with the opposite sex in the elevator, cashier in a store, etc. It sounds silly but the more you talk to strangers, the more comfortable you will be doing it. This will also show you that 99% of the time, people will respond positively, maybe even with a smile or say something nice back to you. Hopefully this will sink into your brain that most people are nice, and the next time you’re intimidated in going up to that hottie in the bar… they are going to respond positively, even if they’re not interested. If they give you a look or say something mean as a response, obviously they aren’t worth your time anyway.

Next, go to a bar and talk to the bartender(s). This is good practice to make small talk with someone in an environment perfect for training: a bar. You’re not just saying something quick about the weather; you are going from ice-breaker to having a conversation with someone you just met. While you’re talking, it wouldn’t hurt to mention to the bartender that you’re single. He or she can tell you the best times to come in and scope out the other singles.

Go to a hotel bar. Now you’re ready to really talk to someone who would normally be a challenge, but is hopefully much simpler to approach after your practicing. I suggest hotel bars because most people are here temporarily and you can tell yourself you’re never going to see this person again if it doesn’t work out! You have nothing to lose, and you should tell yourself that! Also, you have lots of local info to offer someone who is here visiting or for work, looking for the inside scoop on where to go. Great conversation topics, which makes your life easier!

Next, go to a bar during after-work hours. This is the least intimidating time to actually get “out in the field” by yourself and start meeting people. Tons of people go to bars after work by themselves; you are fitting right in! It’s a great time to chat about how someone’s day went or if they’re having a celebratory drink or a “bad day drink.” Either way, people come to bars to be in public and potentially have conversations; otherwise they’d drink at home. Go to a bar in a commercially-rich area and practice just making small talk about the day, until you’re comfortable breaking the ice with just about anyone in this environment.

Now you’re ready for a more intimidating scene. Just one thing: Before you actually go out, say something to at least one stranger an hour or so beforehand. This will keep the confidence vibe going. You’re already on an “ice-breaking streak,” and you’ve gotten positive responses from those you’ve talked to.

You can really apply these practices anywhere; networking events, fundraisers, any type of gathering where it would be beneficial for you to meet people. Good luck and remember that practice makes confidence!

How to Make the Most of Your Time with a WingWoman

We’re in our busiest season! Whether you’re a first-time client or a seasoned pro at this, take note of these tips from the WingWomen themselves.

• Don’t expect a miracle. We can’t promise the venue will be “chock-full or people” you’re attracted to, or that you’ll get 3 phone numbers because you hired a WingWoman. Your chances of meeting someone are greatly increased with her help, but it takes a little patience and sometimes practice. Give it a chance to happen naturally with your new friend.

• Communicate exactly what you’d like the WingWoman to do and why you hired her. It’s smart to take the first 10 minutes or so to talk a little about yourself and what you’re looking to get out of this. Develop a working relationship with your WingWoman. Here’s the thing; every client is different. The more we know about you, the better it will be for us to talk you up and understand your style of things. Some clients want is to go up to men/women right away. Some would rather pick and choose. Some just want a boost of confidence. What are you comfortable with?

 

• Set a goal. We can’t stress this enough. You want to go home feeling like you got your money’s worth. At the beginning of the night, tell yourself to meet at least 2 people with the WingWoman. They don’t have to be perfect 10’s. The more you do this, the more comfortable you’ll get. Also, you never know who you’re going to meet! It’s a small victory knowing that you did what you set out to do.

 

• Be aware of other places nearby in case the chosen venue is a dud. The bar and lounge scene can be hit or miss, depending on the night, weather, if there’s an event going on and the place is closed to the general public, etc. It’s good to have a back-up plan for this reason. The good news is usually in cities there are places very close by, and you can just hop over to a whole new selection of people. Also, the WingWomen are very knowledgeable of the surrounding areas. Feel free to ask for a suggestion. They are socialites themselves!

 

• Ask the WingWoman for her honest opinion. It’s good to have the neutral opinion of someone who’s not your friend. Your friends and family might be sugar-coating their opinion because they think it’s going to hurt your feelings or they just say things to make you feel good. If you’re up for brutal honesty or knowing what you should work on, the WingWomen are here for you. Therefore, be open to suggestions. After all, what do you have to lose?

 

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8 Realistic Places to Meet Women

Our male clients are always asking me where the women are! I’ve come up with a list of places where our research shows are pretty reliable in helping you get those digits.

 

1. Wine Tastings.  We love wine and it puts us in a welcoming, fun mood! Hello!
2. Fashion shows (not the weekly kind). We love fashion and we love talking about the models. Guys catch on to this quickly though, and they think they’re going to be the only guys there surrounded by women, but there are more and more guys at these continuous shows now. Pick a random fashion show that isn’t a regularly scheduled one. Try a pop-up event or a fundraiser. Also, don’t stare with your jaw dropped at the models. That’s a huge turnoff.
3. Sports bars during a big game. Why? Because generally, it’s our consensus that women aren’t watching it as closely as the guys. A lot of women go to sports bars to meet men, but most guys don’t want to talk, they want to watch. Women even get frustrated in the lack of attention from guys during sports games. This is your chance to swoop in and start talking while you have their attention and the other guys have no clue!
4. “Girlie,” pretty bars. We pay attention to detail. When we are surrounded by velour sofas, stylish walls, beautiful red chandeliers, and fun drinks, we love it, therefore we go back! Not to mention, we love our pretty cocktails, and usually cocktail bars are right up our alley.
5. Outdoor patio bars on nice days. We want to show off our new summer dresses and different makeup, hairstyles, etc., while drinking margaritas out on the patio! What better way to talk to girls than when everyone’s outside in the beautiful weather and in a great mood also!
6. Charity events/fundraisers.  Depending on the event, there are usually more girls than guys. For example, we’ve found that causes such as those for animal cruelty and adoption, breast cancer, and child welfare are heavily attended by women. This brings up a nice topic of conversation that you ALREADY HAVE IN COMMON.. what you’re doing there! You are killing two birds with one stone here – giving to a good cause and meeting women. Girls love a great guy with a good heart!
7. Museum after-hours events.  Another place where women love the surroundings and cocktails, and it’s super easy to just talk about the piece of artwork that is right in front of you.
8. Coffee shops.  I know this one is kind of corny, but people who go to coffee shops with their laptops or things to work on realize that it’s a social environment, and that’s why they’re going. Otherwise, why not go to the library or stay at home to study?  Go up to her or sit next to her and after settling in, and say “Hey, what are you working on/reading/etc.?” Believe me, she will be more than happy to answer!

There are many other places to meet women, as I’m sure you know. I’m even writing my entire following blog on how one can meet people at a grocery store. If any of the above still seems intimidating to conquer on your own, you know where to find us for help!

Stuck in an Online Dating Rut? Have You Tried This?

I’ve always said that any way you can meet someone, go for it. Whether it’s on Tinder, through a matchmaker, online dating, or in the grocery store; if you don’t try, you won’t succeed. I met my fiancé on Match.com after conquering the ins and outs of the online dating game. My clients have the same concerns and questions I first had, so I figured I’d share some of my top pointers!

Consider your online profile as something that is always growing and improving. I’m going to tell you what frustrates me most – A lot of people sign up on a dating site, start a profile, and just sit back and wait for someone to message them. You go back and edit your resume, add to it, and get a second opinion of a friend or colleague, right? Your online profile is something you have to continuously work on. Is your headline catching people’s eye? Could you add a new picture that makes you look better? Did you recently start a cool activity? This is an ACTIVE process that some people find is work. If it’s hard for you to break the ice and send a wink or better yet, a message to someone of interest, then set small goals, such as sending a message to 2 people per day. Check out who checked you out, and flirt back if you feel there is any potential at all.

Don’t have a laundry list of things about you in your bio. Same as the pictures, you don’t want to overexpose yourself and write everything. I’m sure you are a great person and you have lots to offer and your friends would say you’re a “total catch,” but short and sweet is the key. You can talk more about yourself on your first date.

Make sure to mention something unique about you. Can you make a mean chicken piccata? Have you traveled to 10 different countries? Do you know how to juggle? The goal here is to spark their interest and give them ammo to send you a message! The easier it is to write to you, the better.

Don’t lie. You’re only going to piss the person off if you lie about your age or height, or body type for that matter. People have types, and embrace the fact that you’re someone’s type.

Pics – You should have 4 or 5. No more and no less. Give them a good idea of what you are without overexposure. Make sure they’re all current of course, and make sure you have an activity/hobby shot of doing something like hiking, walking your dog, or playing an instrument to show you have fun things going on in your life. A full-length picture is necessary. If you’re like me, you hate it when you’re out with your friends and someone asks to stop and take a picture and you have to stop everything and pose. This is critical though. Try to get at least one picture when you’re out with friends. Bar/lounge lighting is super flattering, and you’re already lookin’ good. Seize the moment!

My #1 trick – Sign in as the opposite sex (or same sex if that’s what you prefer) and check out your competition. This is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you. By signing in and perusing the other people who are in your age range and location, etc., you’ll see what your potential mates are looking at! Now you can really set yourself apart from the rows and rows of the same thing. For example, I saw that there were so many girls who said “I love snow and skiing, etc.” I took this as a perfect way to set myself apart because I hate snow and winter sports, so I put that as one of the first statements in my bio. You can’t imagine how many messages I got saying I was a “breath of fresh air” because I was honest and said something that I didn’t like to do, rather than non-stop talk about everything that is positive. The point here is to stand out from the online crowd and market yourself differently from the competition.

Try to keep these pointers in mind when creating and maintaining your online profile. If you need more help, you can always hire me to set up a private online dating consultation and we can work on your specific needs.

WingWoman Stories and Brilliant Client Ideas

As professionals who meet up with strangers and help them achieve their dating goals, you can assume that we’ve got some stories to tell. We never know what the clients will be like in person until we meet them. Every now and then we’re asked to do some things that are out of the ordinary. Some WingWoman outings that we think will be ordinary turn out to be anything but. If our work is in a social atmosphere, the WingWomen meet and leave the client in public, and things are legit, we welcome the challenge! I thought I’d share some of the stories that we can look back at and laugh, high-five, and roll our eyes!

There have been clients who met and exchanged numbers with each other while they were out with a WingWoman. (Why not?) They both just happened to hire a WingWoman! We’ve had clients who have fallen in love with WingWomen (bound to happen at some point). We once had a client who hired a WingWoman for the duration of the time he travelled to London. There was a client who hired a WingWoman to do some investigating into whether or not a woman he liked was interested in him. I could go on and on. There’s never a dull moment, but we all know that going into it. Here are some more for your entertainment:
A couple of years ago we had a client who’s ex-girlfriend just broke up with him. He wanted to make her jealous and hire a WingWoman to do so. This seemed a little awkward, but we had an open mind. He told us that his ex-girlfriend was a yoga instructor and he wanted to hire a WingWoman to go to one of her yoga class with him. The WingWoman would need to be very fun and flirty with him, and in great shape, therefor making his ex raise an eyebrow and wonder “who’s this new girl?” or “he’s talking to someone new already?” We knew JUST the WingWoman to do this; Erica. It didn’t take her much time before she empathically said “a free yoga class and get paid to have fun? Sure I’ll do it!” Long story short, Erica met the client at the yoga class, they had a fun time and noticed the yoga instructor/ex was clearly wondering what was going on. After Erica left, the client’s ex pulled him aside and asked him who the girl was and after talking a bit, she told him she’d call him later. The client definitely pulled it off!
There was a repeat client last year who happened to be a financial advisor and wanted to acquire new clients for his business. He said that going out by himself and networking wasn’t really doing the trick. So, who better to hire than a professional networker? A WingWoman! As someone once pointed out, having another person talk you up is a lot more credible/believable than talking yourself up. He noticed that men were way more open to starting a conversation with a beautiful, intelligent woman than just another man in a suit. He would hire a smart WingWoman who would go to upscale events, bars, and steakhouses, and she would start conversations with men who could afford to go to these venues. She would then introduce the client and explain what he does. Well, our client did in fact acquire at least a few new clients that we are aware of. A lot more business cards were exchanged as well!
One time we got a call from a man in the flooring business who rented a booth at a large expo for contractors, builders, etc. He hired TWO WingWomen to bring attention to his booth, and start conversations with anyone walking by. The expo’s audience consisted of about 90% males, so you get the picture. The WingWomen took a quick crash-course in our client’s flooring business and how to talk to the prospective buyers. They were great at welcoming people to our client’s booth and being friendly, while giving them a brief explanation of the service. Our client was extremely impressed with the increase of traffic. He said the year before he had hired models but the WingWomen were way more social and interactive with the prospective buyers.
Here comes a story that I’m hesitant to tell because it did NOT look good for us! When the company was first starting out and the hiring process was different, I hired a girl who was very outgoing, fun, and knew how to win over any stranger. Her first time out was working for a repeat client who the other WingWomen said was great to work with. Well, long story short, she showed up to the venue drunk. The client noticed something was off but carried on and they went inside the lounge. She ended up causing a raucous and got herself kicked out! The poor client left right after, and got another free WingWoman outing after I apologized profusely. Needless to say she was never hired again!

Hope you enjoyed reading about some of the more interesting things that go on!            Like our Facebook page for more stories, tips, and other fun stuff!

My #1 Dating Tip – Save Time, Money, and Energy while Reeling them In!

This may seem shallow, but it’s for everyone’s benefit.

When I was single, I used to joke with my friends that dating was a part-time job. If you don’t put a ton of effort into it, you won’t get anything out of it. Knowing this, I found that being organized helped a lot. On my phone I’d have guys’ names from Match.com or those I had met in person, and I’d put something that reminded me of them next to their names.

For example, my contacts list would look like this:

Tom – North End
Justin – tall, funny
Mike – gym rat
Mike C – talker, cute

You get the point.

Sorry, but my memory isn’t that great and I needed something to remember who was calling or texting me at the time. After talking to a few other singles, I found out that I wasn’t the only one who was doing that. I’ve also heard of men and women making spreadsheets or just plain old lists to keep track.

After a while, like anyone out there trying to meet someone for a real relationship, I got tired and frustrated. I was sick of wasting time getting all dolled up, spending money on taxis, and wasting good makeup going to dinner or having drinks with someone I wasn’t really into in the end. I would look back after ending the date or the fling and think “there has to be an easier way to do this.”

Here’s what I did. And it works for guys too! Instead of putting all my time and energy into one date per night, I thought why not go on two… or if I wanted to be really advanced… three.

What am I talking about? Was I being a player? No. I just know that I can tell if I’m going to like someone within the first half hour or so of meeting him. Therefore, I’d go on “mini-dates” and explain to these men that I was “meeting up with friends after” and could only stay for one drink with them. I would of course let my date know this beforehand. No one seemed to have a problem with that. In fact, I think my dates respected the efficiency of it all! After all, they don’t want to be stuck with me if they weren’t into me either. After leaving that date, I’d hop on over to the next. By doing this I saved time, let myself go of any weirdness or awkwardness on a dinner-date that has gone awry, and didn’t have do get dolled up, hair done, makeup on, stress about an outfit, every single time I went out to meet someone. I just scheduled 2 or 3 dates in a row on the same night.

What’s the best part of it all? I left them wanting more. Yes, leave your date wanting to see you again, and you will have the upper hand. Also, if you have places to go to and people to see, you appear to be an in-demand, social, outgoing person. After meeting like this, my dates were motivated to fit into my schedule! Don’t get me wrong, this may work better for women, as men like the chase. You also can’t come across as though something else is more important than your date. As long as you’re up front about it BEFORE you meet, it is perfectly acceptable. If there is a second date, that date should be completely different of course, and you should devote more time to getting to know the person.

Go ahead and try this technique next time you’re talking to a couple of people online and they’re interested in meeting you. I promise it will be an amazing tool to get you through this crazy world of dating!

7 Reasons Why You Didn’t get any Digits This Weekend

Did you go out this past weekend and come home without any numbers? Maybe you met a couple of potential dates, but didn’t seem to get their number saved into your phone, or at least ask for a business card? If you’re in the market to meet someone and you don’t capitalize on a good, social environment that’s perfect for meeting people, you’re not going to be getting any dates. Here are some reasons why you could be hurting your chances at getting those digits when you’re out on the town.

1) You were trying too hard. I know this sounds counter-productive, but it’s a major turnoff when you’re seen leaning against the wall, just scoping out the scene and not having fun in the process. The last thing people are attracted to is someone who seems desperate to get a number by the end of the night. You tend to look creepy when you’re with your friend and neither one of you are talking, but just staring at the “options.” Also, when you do meet someone, don’t ask for his/her number right away either. Make sure the conversation is flowing and you have something to talk about when you do end up getting those digits.

2) You’re not trying at all. Women do this more frequently than men. You go out with your girlfriends, and get “caught up in catching up.” After a drink or two, it’s like you’re the only ones in the room, forgetting about other potential guys who are perfectly ready and wanting to meet you. You also look more intimidating to men when you’re in a deep conversation with your friend(s). How can they jump in and start talking to you? This is extremely hard, as you’re making an invisible conversation barrier. Try to find a mix between catching up with your girlfriends, and also looking around once in a while. Keep the conversation light, and ask the guy next to you for his opinion. Remember, you’re out to be social and meet other people.

3) You went up to her while she was in the middle of a deep conversation with her friend. This one is awful. Whatever you say is not going to mean anything, because you interrupted her at the worst time, and she didn’t appreciate it. It will be an impossible uphill battle to get out of this one because at that time there was no intention, in fact attention was unwanted, while they are bonding over something important. The only way to avoid this is by understanding body language. Try to see if there are looking that much more intense, talking closer, and being more serious. If you’re really into the person, you can try to wait it out until it becomes a little easier to approach, or move on.

4) You’re dressing for other girls, not guys. Ladies – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, guys don’t care who designed your handbag or that you’re wearing the latest puffy skirt. Guys want to see what you’re working with. Sorry, but it’s true. They’re visual beings. So please remember to wear what flatters you best, and what gives you the most confidence, and don’t worry about the trends. Pay attention to what other girls are wearing only if they’re attracting the guys you’re into. Are they wearing flats or high heels? Puffy skirts and baggy tops? Or form-fitting skirts and fun, flirty tops… Just trying to help with what will get the results!

5) Your head was in your cell phone. If your head is in your cell phone, you’re not going to be approachable. In fact, you will be the opposite. You look like you’re waiting for your significant other to come meet you (aka repelling the opposite sex). If you’re alone at a bar/lounge and you feel like you need to be preoccupied because you’re not comfortable being by yourself, bring a magazine. With a magazine, you can put it down on the bar and leave it open while you flip the pages. You’re even inviting conversation because other people can see the pictures and it is easy to comment and start a conversation. If you need to check your cell, fine, but please, please, do not be texting and looking at your phone the whole time!

6) You’re too cool for school. Our clients tend to meet more people at less “uppity,” or “snobby” lounges. People feel they’re intimidating and non-welcoming. If you came into the place with an attitude of being better than the next person, don’t expect to be approached. Being approachable makes it that much easier for people to go up to you and strike a conversation. Isn’t that why you went out in the first place.. to be social and meet people?

7) You didn’t seal the deal; meaning – even after hitting it off and having a great conversation, you didn’t ask for the phone number. This is the second most popular reason why men, especially, hire the WingWomen. It’s hard enough to strike up a conversation with someone you’re attracted to, but then you have to get the guts to ask for their contact info. We’ve had some clients ask the WingWoman to put in a good word for them while they “step away” or “go to the bathroom.” The WingWoman may suggest to the prospective partner that she meet up with the client another time because he’s a great catch. The simplest advice I can give you is to relay back to something you talked about; something you had in common. Did you talk about the fact that you both love outdoor concerts? Enjoy green tea in the afternoon? Go to the North End for pastry? Well, bring it up again, and suggest that you should do it together some day! Don’t make the huge mistake of going home without getting the digits of someone you really connected with.